Been a while…

Wow, almost a year since I last posted. It has been an eventful year. What year isn’t eventful? Even if it is only a few events in your year, it can still be considered eventful.

I was just thinking about stuff … Life, my past, my children, my present, my future. I have had some crap times in my life (as we all have, to varying degrees); I have done and said things that I likely should not have; I have made so many decisions (again, as we all have). Yet, considering where I am now in my life and thinking about where I could be… I have no regrets.

Sure, there are things I would love to change, things I wish didn’t happen or had happened differently, but I am a happy person. In my happiness, I realize that if I could change things I have done/said or things were different in any way it is very likely that I would not have the happiness that I am lucky enough to now have.

A little while back, I was at a store, looking to ask a question about a product sale. I was standing by the customer service desk, but not in line. I kind of wasn’t sure if I should be asking my question there or elsewhere. Two other people came up and got in line, before I had made a decision as to where I should be. The gentleman who was now at the front of the line, looked at me, still standing “by the line” and said that I had been there before him and that I should get inline in front of him. I told him I wasn’t in a rush and it was no big deal. He insisted, I thanked him and stepped in line. He commented that if it was him, he would likely be upset/mad if people did it to him. So I said that it would not be worth my anger, that it was such a trivial thing, to get in line before other people… He seemed in awe when I said that, so I continued, saying that I had learned in my life that I would rather be happy, so I don’t let such things bother me anymore. (I can admit that on a bad day, no one wants to step in my way in line or anywhere else, but for the most part, I can let it slide). He asked how I could have come to this realization at my age… saying he was in his 50s and he has not yet gotten there.
In our brief conversation, I learned that his wife has dementia, which is understandably difficult on him. He said that he spends a little time in a local park before going to work and before heading home each day, that is his quiet time and it allows him a little coping skill. He said he hadn’t gotten to the park that day, and found himself being rather short tempered compared to the days he stops at the park.

As I said, he seemed to be in awe of the way I decided to be stress-free, at my age. I can not remember exactly when I decided to not let things bother me as much as some people do. But I do know that as the years pass, it becomes easier and easier. I also become more thankful for this ability.

I think that we all have this ability, somewhere in ourselves… some find it, some do not. For some, maybe it got broken or lost somewhere or taken from us. I understand stress, anxiety, depression. Been there. I have suffered (and still do) from anxiety & depression and stress is just a part of life. The difference, I think, if how we learn to cope. Sadly, some people are not able to learn how to cope… by no fault of their own! I am not saying that I think some people just don’t want to learn or anything… I know that for some people, anxiety and depression are all consuming. I just thank whoever/whatever that I have been able to learn from my own anxiety/depression.
I can only hope that I can help those around me, even if only for a short time or only a small degree.

I don’t know how to help everyone. I don’t know how to explain how things work for me. I just know that I am happy and I wish the same for everyone around me.